5 Tips for How to Stop Overanalyzing & Overthinking Text Messages

Texting is a comfortable action and at the same time, overthinking text messages is a curse. Aside from feeling tethered to my phone all the time, it also allows my brain the opportunity to run rampant obsessing over the sentence structure and word choices in text messages.

It’s something we’re all guilty of, at least in some instances. Many of us know the rules and etiquette that come with texting, but not everyone adheres to them— which adds to the overthinking text messages.

With these tips, you don’t have to feel like the moment at the end of that short text means they’re mad at you and start overthinking text messages. It could even just be improper punctuation.

Did they respond “K” because they’re in a hurry, or are they pissed? Maybe there isn’t a smiley face at the end of a message, making you interpret it harsher than they meant itand probably start overthinking text messages.

They might have given you a one-word answer, then you may be overthinking text messages feeling like they’re mad at you.

Maybe they only said, “I like you,” instead of laying out their romantic intentions in a detailed and organized bulleted list, so now you’re jumping to all sorts of overthinking text messages involving how they perhaps don’t like you.

If any of these scenarios sound like you, then these tips on overthinking text messages are for you.

Texting is a Weird Communication Method

It’s great for some, especially writers because they’re a lot better at expressing themselves in written words than they are with spoken words.

Put them in front of an even remotely attractive person, or just a person in general, really, and every thought they’ve ever had immediately flies out of their head.

They kind of temporarily black out and don’t remember anything They said.

So texting is great for such people— but only when they’re on the sending end. It’s when they’re on the receiving end that their brain kicks into maximum overdrive.

What Does That Mean?

It’s challenging to determine tone and meaning from texts — especially if it’s someone you don’t know very well yet or haven’t met in person.

As you spend more time with them in person, it’ll become more comfortable for you to pick up on the nuances of how they speak and communicate,

and you’ll be able to overlay that onto any texts they send to you. But initially, before you figure out their communication style, it’s hard to do that.

If you’re an over-analyzer like some folks, here are some things you can do to slow your roll.

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1. Put the Phone Down

Just drop it, on a serious note. Detach yourself from it for an hour, an afternoon, a weekend. Or put it down starting at a specific time in the evening. Give yourself an opportunity to wind down for the night.

It’s exhausting being able to be in continuous communication with everyone at all times. That’s how others steal our moment, and our time stops becoming ours. Get back your time.

And, if you’re not worried about your cellphone, then you’re not worried about the meaning of whatever text you did or didn’t get.

2. Take Everything at Face Value

If they meant something else, they would have said something different.

If they meant whatever contrived derivation you arrived at, they would have mentioned that. Don’t try to twist words or dissect sentences or read between the lines.

In contrast to what Kris Jenner said, this is not the case for the FBI. You are not a super-sleuth, and your partner is not under probe.

3. Don’t Believe the Things You Tell Yourself Late at Night

Anxious thoughts always come for some people at night. Right before they’re about to fall asleep, pretty much every anxious thought I’ve ever had attacks me and gets my head spinning.

They tend to severely mull over these kinds of thoughts until I convince myself that my own contrived worries are actually true.

It’s easy to fall down that rabbit hole, of taking one thought and turning it over and over and over until it no longer resembles the original reflection, and now you’ve gotten yourself all worked up over nothing.

Recognize the anxious reflections for what they are — your brain is trying to trick you — tell them to go away.

4. Don’t Reply in a Reactionary Way

Sleep on it first and give it time. Take time to digest whatever anxious feelings you’re having about the meaning of that text you just received. They may fade or seem trivial the next day.

However, also, it’s okay to ask the other person for clarification and ask them to explain themselves a little more. Give out queries! Don’t get comfortable with your texting anxiety.

A simple question and a simple explanation could alleviate a lot of your stress.

5. Be Straightforward in Your Own Communications

Don’t play mind games. If you play games, then you’re likely paranoid that your partner is playing games too.

Don’t be scared to share what’s disturbing you. If you’re angry, say you’re mad, and say why. The silent treatment is for babies.

Talking and open communication is always more profitable than silence in this case. Relationships break in silence and thrive in openness.

It’s also alright to ask for what you need (within reason). If you require your partner or the other person to text you once a day, it’s okay to request that.

It’s not alright, however, to require the other person to always reply within five minutes, or else you’ll go ballistic. Ask for what you need, but also cut people some slack. They have their own needs to think about, too.

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The Bottom Line

Even implementing just one of these tips will change your outlook and transform the way you communicate.

It has helped people immensely to become more relaxed and less zeroed in on the minute things of text messaging.

Not only are they delivering better and more productive conversations with people, but such people also have smaller balls of stress than they used to have.

Making yourself sit down and be quiet when you start to overanalyze things is the first step. However, if you do it, your relationships and conversations will benefit from it.