The 80 Best Inspirational & Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes
Funny Retirement Messages, don’t think of retiring from the world until the world will be sorry that you retire. There are far better things ahead than we ever leave behind. Goodbye to all the pressure, welcome the endless leisure.
Get the Best Inspirational and Funny Retirement Messages and Quotes for your coworker or your family member.
Funny Retirement Messages
- Congratulations on your retirement! Remember, now you can finally stop pretending to work and start pretending to relax.
- Retirement: when you stop lying about your age and start lying around on the beach. Enjoy!
- Now that you’re retired, you can sleep like a baby—waking up every two hours and wondering why you’re still tired.
- Retirement is like a long vacation in Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest and not wake up with too many regrets.
- Retirement is the time when you can finally catch up on all those naps you missed during your working years. Sweet dreams!
- Retirement is the best time to dedicate yourself to a new career—like a professional napper or expert TV binge-watcher.
- Congratulations on your retirement! Remember, you no longer have to stress about deadlines—unless they’re self-imposed for your hobbies.
- Now that you’re retired, you can finally explore all those weird hobbies you never had time for, like collecting belly button lint or mastering the art of staring at walls.
- Retirement is the perfect time to become a kid again—except this time you have adult money to buy all the toys you want!
- Retirement is when you trade in your briefcase for a beach towel and start living life on your own terms. Cheers to the good life!
- Now that you’re retired, don’t forget to schedule some “doing nothing” time in your daily planner. It’s an essential part of the job!
- Congratulations on your retirement! Now you can finally have breakfast at 8 am or 2 pm—no more alarm clocks to dictate your meal times.
- Retirement is like the biggest promotion of your life—you get to be the boss of your own time and do whatever makes you happy.
Best Inspirational Retirement Messages
- Now that you’re retired, you can focus on the things that truly matter—like finding the perfect recipe for chocolate chip cookies or perfecting your golf swing.
- Retirement is the time to let loose and enjoy life. Just make sure you don’t let your wild side get you into too much trouble!
- Congratulations on retiring! Now you can spend your days doing all the things you love, like avoiding housework and pretending you’re too busy to answer calls.
- Retirement is the perfect time to become a master chef—well, at least in your own kitchen. Bon appétit!
- Now that you’re retired, remember to take it easy and avoid stress. Leave the worrying to the youngsters!
- Retirement is like a second childhood but with more money and better toys. Have a blast!
- Congratulations on retiring! Now you can trade in your work clothes for pajamas and enjoy life in ultimate comfort.
- Retirement is the perfect time to embark on new adventures. Just make sure your adventures include a comfortable recliner and a good book!
- Now that you’re retired, you can finally stop using the snooze button. Every morning is your weekend now!
- Retirement is the time to pursue your passions and hobbies. So go ahead, become the world’s most dedicated nap-taker or crossword puzzle solver!
- Congratulations on your retirement! Remember, every day is a Saturday now—except without the chores!
- Now that you’re retired, you can finally let your hair down—unless you already lost it during your working years.
- Retirement is like a never-ending weekend. Except Mondays no longer exist, and every day is filled with relaxation and joy.
- Congratulations on your retirement! Remember, you’re never too old to set another goal—like mastering the art of doing absolutely nothing.
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Famous Retirement Quotes
- “When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues present him with a watch.” – R. C. Sherriff
- “People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways. I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen so that I can see myself at half price.” – George Burns
- “The concept of freedom is never truly realized until one settles into retirement mode.” – A. Major
- “Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret.
- “Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say, ‘Hi, honey, I’m home — forever.’” – Gene Perret
- “We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock.” – Dave Allen
- “When you retire, you switch bosses — from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” – Gene Perret
- “A gold watch is the most appropriate gift for retirement as its recipients have given up so many of their golden hours in a lifetime of service.” – Harry Mahtar
- “First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly.” – Branch Rickey
- “Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous, When I was sixty-five – I still had pimples.” – George Burns
- “Retirement, we understand, is great if you are busy, rich, and healthy. But then, under those conditions, work is great too.” – Bill Vaughn.
- “I’ve been attending lots of seminars since my retirement. They’re called naps.” – Harry Emerson Fosdick.
Conclusion
The best part is, these messages can be given to anyone, irrespective of their occupation or gender. So wish them cheerful and funny retirement messages.
Sending your coworkers funny retirement messages with some jokes and a little of personal touch, and they will remember your words forever.