Funny Joe Dirt Sayings: 65 Highest Ranked Joe Dirt’s Sayings

Funny Joe Dirt Sayings: 65 Highest Ranked Joe Dirt’s Sayings.

Funny Joe Dirt Sayings: Joe Dirt is a comedy film written by David Spade and Fred Wolf, which tells Joe Dirt’s story as he tries to find the parents who abandoned him back in time. Here’s a look at 65 of the most memorable Joe Dirt sayings, with several humorous points in the film.

Funny Joe Dirt Sayings

65 Funny Joe Dirt Sayings

  1. “But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say.”

  2. Kicking Wing: Good stuff? This is the good stuff, snakes and sparklers.

  3. Joe Dirt: Yeah, you like to see homos naked. That’s cool.

  4. Joe Dirt: Maybe if it came out of Charlene Tilton’s ass I’d take a bite.

  5. Miss Clipper: He’ll stop humping as soon as he’s done.

  6. “I got the poo on me!”

  7. Joe Dirt: Are you nuts dude? You need stuff that’ll explode. Go boom!

  8. “Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt.”

  9. “This croc ain’t no puppy.”

  10. Old Cajun Man: Everybody knows that. God damn, boy.

  11. “No, afraid not. That just a big ol’ frozen chunk of poopy.” – Meteor Bert

  12. If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

  13. Joe Dirt: So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, kick but, or screaming mimis?

  14. “That shit’ll buff out.”

  15. “When bad pets go bad, dang.”

  16. Little Joe Dirt: Can I push him off of me?

  17. Joe Dirt: Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?

  18. Joe Dirt: Guy likes to see homos naked, that doesn’t help me.

  19. Bullying Man #2: You probably liked J.R., you queer. I saw your bumper sticker: “cowboys’ butts drive me nuts.”

  20. Life’s a garden, dig it?

  21. Kicking Wing: No… because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.

  22. “I’m a rocker through and through. Here’s a list of my favorite bands: AC/DC, Van Halen not Van Hagar, Skynyrd, Def Leppard.”

  23. Joe Dirt: You like to see homos naked?

  24. “There are three rules when dealing with a deadly alligator. And yes, they are deadly, don’t kid yourself. Rule number one, I’m number one. You hear that? I like to kid around. Rule two, the croc’s number two. Now before I begin…” – Joe Dirt

  25. You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both workin’ and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up?

  26. “You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?”

  27. Joe Dirt: Well, I see you got those snakes and sparklers. But where’s the good stuff man?

  28. Joe Dirt: But I’m picking it up this afternoon. I might need a pretty little lady to sit in the front seat while I break her in. The car I mean. So what do you say?

  29. Joe Dirt: If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

  30. “My name is Joe Dirte, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.”“My name is Joe Dirte, I added an e to the end, cause it sounds cool.”

  31. Why don’t you go practice fallin’ down? I’ll be there in a minute.

  32. “Actually it got towed away two years ago.”

  33. “To tell you the truth, brother, between you and me. The thing with the dog is coming off a little fruity. That’s just me talking.” – Joe

  34. YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FOR-EEK. You’re going to Hell, man.

  35. Joe Dirt: Well today I’m gonna be picking up my Hemi Roadrunner. That’s right, I said Hemi.

  36. Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look.” – Joe

  37. Hey! You’re talking to my guy all wrong. It’s the wrong tone. Do it again, I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron.

  38. “And you’ll be sticking your head out the window and check out chic dogs saying ‘what’s up, baby?’”

  39. Zander Kelly Probably, because I’m sure that Yahwee would be chiming in too.

  40. I got the poo on me!

  41. Joe Dirt: Well, duh, might as, might as well ask why is a tree good? Why is the sunset good? Why are boobs good? Man, firecrackers, ya stick ’em in mailboxes, you drop ’em in toilets, shove ’em up bullfrogs asses.

  42. Clem: [talking to fire extinguisher] You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!

  43. Jill: That’s a big ten-four.

  44. “Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look.”

  45. “You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?” – Joe

  46. “So your gonna’ tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no roman candles, or screaming mimis?”

  47. “Right on. You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.”

  48. “You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mike right here. Check one two, testing, testing.”

  49. “You just said your sister’s hot! What a fuh-reak! You’re going to hell, man!” – Joe

  50. “Oh come on man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?”

  51. “If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

  52. Joe Dirt: Is this where you wanna be when Jesus comes; making fun of poor Joe Dirt?

  53. Joe Dirt: You’re gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?

  54. Bullying Man #2: [throws Joe an apple core after he farts on it] I got a fart. You want that?

  55. You wanna fight? Why don’t you stick your head up my butt and fight for air.

  56. “Keep on, keepin’ on”

  57. Joe Dirt: Well there you go, one day a bullfrog has a M-80 up his ass, he comes to you, you win twice brother

  58. “You’re talking to me all wrong. It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!” – Clem

  59. “I like getting hit with hot dogs, it don’t bother me none!” – Joe

  60. Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.

  61. “Luckily, my neck broke my fall.”“Luckily, my neck broke my fall.”

  62. Joe Dirt: [sticks his fists up] This queer? Is this queer?

  63. “And at that moment I thought I might just lie there and never get up. I would just sit there and rot there, but then I looked up and saw the moon and got this weird feeling that Brandi was looking up at that same moon.”

  64. Kicking Wing: I would never do that, because one day I’m going to be a veterinarian

  65. “Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.”

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