Short Church Signs Sayings: 90 Best Hilarious Church Signs

Short Church Signs Sayings: 90 Best Hilarious Church Signs.

Short Church Signs Sayings: Everybody likes a funny sign and humor is often found in areas you can least expect it to be. Churches, in particular, have a way to hand out spontaneous laughs to passers-by. Here are 90 of the funniest short church signs sayings we’ve seen as congregations bring the Good News out about God in celebration of all things grounded in hilarity.

short church signs sayings

90 Short Church Signs Sayings

  1. Don’t give up! Moses was once a basket case!

  2. Under the same management for more than 2,000 years.

  3. Gossip is the Devil’s radio. Are you his DJ?

  4. You might be thinking many things, but don’t believe all of them.

  5. I was going to waste, but Jesus recycled me.

  6. If your life stinks, we have a pew for you.

  7. God loves you whether you like it or not.

  8. I hate this church. – Satan

  9. Addicted to the Hokey Pokey, so I turned myself around.

  10. Wrinkled with problems? Come to the Lord’s House for a faith lift.

  11. Thou shalt not steal copper from our A/C unit.

  12. You may party in Hell, but you will be the barbecue.

  13. What is missing from ch__ch? U R!

  14. Keep using my name in vain, and I’ll make rush hour longer. – God

  15. iPod? iPad? Try iPray! God is listening!

  16. Read the Bible. It will scare the Hell out of you!

  17. Call 911; our pastor is on fire!

  18. Our sign broke. Come inside for the message.

  19. Forecast for tomorrow: God reigns and the Son shines.

  20. Don’t make me come down there. – God

  21. Trust in God, but lock your car.

  22. The best vitamin for a believer is B1.

  23. Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible!

  24. Does your spiritual house need spring cleaning?

  25. Always remember that Hell is really un-cool.

  26. Free Coffee! Yes, membership has its benefits!

  27. How do we make Holy Water? We boil the Hell out of it!

  28. Sinners wanted. Apply within.

  29. You have one new friend request from: Jesus.

  30. Jesus is God’s selfie.

  31. Bring your sin to the altar and drop it like it’s hot. Drop it like it’s hot.

  32. Looking for “Mr. Right”? This is His house!

  33. God wants full custody, not just weekend visits.

  34. The manger was the first king-sized bed.

  35. Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire?

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  36. Prophecy class cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

  37. Maury isn’t the only place where people find their Fathers.

  38. Store the Bible in your heart, not on a shelf.

  39. What happens in Vegas is forgiven here.

  40. Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

  41. What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking?

  42. We are not Dairy Queen, but we do have great Sundays!

  43. The struggle is real but so is God.

  44. Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted.

  45. Prayer. The original wireless connection.Prayer. The original wireless connection.

  46. Download your worries and get online with God.

  47. ATM inside: Atonement, Truth, Mercy

  48. Lord, help us be the people our dogs think we are.

  49. Feeling warm? This church is prayer-conditioned.

  50. I am also making a list and checking it twice. – God

  51. When gratitude becomes your default setting, life changes.

  52. Visitors welcomed. Members expected.

  53. Dust on your Bible leads to dirt in your life.

  54. No body’s perfect, but a Jesus workout could help.

  55. Exercise daily. Walk with the Lord.

  56. Life is cray cray. Jesus is the way way.

  57. What could this sign say to get you here on Sunday?

  58. Be kind whenever possible. Pro tip – it’s always possible.

  59. Practice thanking God for more than elastic waistbands.

  60. Jesus: Your get-out-of-Hell-free card.

  61. God didn’t create anything without purpose, but mosquitoes do come close!

  62. The fact that there’s a highway to hell and only a stairway to heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.

  63. If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.

  64. Need a lifeguard? He walks on water.

  65. God is our wireless provider!

  66. Give Satan an inch and he’ll become your ruler.

  67. No SPF needed to spend time with the Son.

  68. Your name may be on a bottle of Coke, but is it in the Book of Life?

  69. Jesus: Your get-out-of-hell-free card

  70. Church parking only. Violators will be baptized.

  71. Body piercing saved our souls.

  72. If God is your copilot, switch seats.

  73. This heat wave is temporary. You certainly don’t want to face an eternal one!

  74. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

  75. Honk if you love Jesus. Text and drive if you want to meet him.

  76. If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence.

  77. Less hate, more pancakes.

  78. Can’t sleep? Counting sheep? Talk to the Shepherd!

  79. God recycles. He made you from dust.

  80. When you throw mud, you lose ground.

  81. Tithe if you love Jesus. Anyone can honk.

  82. Looking for the perfect gift? Find Him here.

  83. Our church is like fudge: sweet with a few nuts.

  84. Jesus is coming… Look busy!

  85. Acting up in church is like dressing up for an X-ray.

  86. Jesus does not save halfway.

  87. Hipster Jesus loved you before you were cool.

  88. This is your sign to come to church. This is your sign to come to church.

  89. Jesus will love the Hell out of you.

  90. We have a prophet-sharing plan.

There is never a time that isn’t right to share the love. Do well to share these messages with friends and loved ones.

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