100+ Funniest Christmas Text Messages and Greetings

During the Christmas season, pleasure takes over like snow in the winter. It’s a time to rejoice like never. Nothing like a hilarious Christmas wish to get you in the spirit for a party. These funniest Christmas text messages can help you spread the joy of the season.

100+ Funniest Christmas Text Messages and Greetings

Here are some of the funniest Christmas text messages to make your loved one laugh. So, don’t be afraid to inject some wit into your Christmas SMS and send them to your friends and family.

Funny Christmas Text Messages and Wishes

Here are some hilarious and funny Christmas wishes and greetings for this holiday season.

  • I hope Santa leaves you plenty of presents, but I hope the reindeer do not leave behind any “presents” on your lawn. Merry Christmas!
  • I wish for your holidays to be filled with many big smiles and big celebrations – but hopefully not big credit card bills!
  • For some, the best part of Christmas happens. When it’s all over! Wishing you a stress-free Christmas season!
  • May you have plenty of mistletoe on hand this Christmas and lots of good kisses too!
  • They say the best Christmas gifts come from the heart… but cash and gift cards do wonders too! Happy Holidays!
  • I’ve never decked the halls and I have no idea what Jingle Bell rock is. But I hope your Christmas rocks!
  • It’s the most wonderful season indeed – until everything has to be cleaned up, and the credit card bill arrives.
  • If I were to rewrite the “12 Days of Christmas,” I would include things like chocolate, cocktails, and fancy dinners instead of French hens and turtle doves.
  • It seems that the Christmas season keeps getting earlier each year. If it gets any earlier, Halloween is going to feel offended.
  • Sometimes I feel like I should leave my Christmas decorations up all year; it seems that by the time I take them down, it’s time to put them back up again.
  • I wonder how Santa celebrates Christmas Day. After the late-night shift he pulls, I bet he stays in bed all day and does nothing. Sounds nice.
  • It must be hard living in the North Pole like Santa Claus. I can’t imagine living in a place where there’s no pizza delivery! Hope your X-mas delivers some happiness!

Christmas Messages & Wishes

It’s the season to be cheerful and joyous! Merry Christmas messages can be sent by printed cards, emails, SMS, or all three.

We’ve compiled a list that you may double-check to discover just the perfect terms for the naughty and nice!

  • Merry Christmas, Alex! May the joy of the season linger in your heart all the New Year.
  • From our family to yours, have a wonderful season of celebrations! Merry Christmas from John, Rachael, and Kyle Washington.
  • Peace and love to you this holiday season and in all the seasons of the year to come. Merry Christmas, Cameron!
  • ‘Tis the Season to be Jolly, so raise a glass and sing tra-la-lolly! Merry Christmas, Jake!
  • Christmas is the only time of year when I buy nuts, and it’s the only time of year I feel like I may go nuts. May you keep your sanity this holiday season!
  • Happy holidays! May your eggnog contain enough rum to get you through the Christmas season!
  • As a child, I loved the taste of fresh, white snow. After trying some yellow snow first, I found the white snow to be much, much better.
  • Merry Christmas! May Santa fill your stocking with winning lottery tickets! Hope your holiday season is a winner!
  • Santa can definitely do some pretty amazing things. But I really wish he could make “late fees” disappear off of bills. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Him

  • So flippin’ excited to spend this Christmas with you. Can’t wait to make some funny moments with you.
  • I would say all I want for Christmas is YOU, But I really would love a new credit card as well!
  • Santa has already given me what I have wished for so long. Now I want him to fill your socks too! Merry Christmas!
  • Sending your way a bundle of warm wishes and good luck on this holiday. Take my love and don’t forget to bring presents for me tonight. Merry Christmas!
  • Lob a snowball at me, and I’ll declare war. Let’s make this one the best Christmas for us together! Merry Christmas to you!
  • I Wish Santa would fill your socks with candy and your wallet with money. Have a nice and warm holiday season my love! Merry Christmas to you!
  • With you, the craziest winter breeze seems warmer than a hot coffee. Thanks for making my Christmas wonderful and my life by simply being you.

Funny Christmas Wishes for Her

  • Santa asked me what my heart wanted this Christmas! I told him your name, and he said you’re already in my heart! Merry Christmas!
  • If I forget to bring presents for you, keep your doors open. Santa will definitely come with a box of chocolates. Merry Christmas!
  • You’re too young to go to clubs with friends. Pray for gifts from Santa or let’s go on a date this Christmas. Merry Christmas Cutie Pie!
  • Enjoy your holiday and feel the magic of Christmas this year. Witness how money disappears and how I lose my sanity. Merry Christmas!
  • Wishing for a fat bearded guy to visit me at night is not cool. I’d rather wish it was you in a red gown. Merry Christmas!
  • I have no money to spend for you this Christmas but know that I always have time to spend with you this Christmas! I love you!
  • Christmas is a festival of love and good spirit, so make sure you shower me with lots of love this holiday. Merry Christmas.
  • Everything grows old, except for You and Santa. Merry Christmas, my love. Sending warm wishes on your way this Christmas!

Funny Christmas Wishes for Friends

These amusing words are excellent for a Christmas card, text, or whichever you prefer to communicate with your friend. Whether it’s a joke about you, them, or Christmas itself, it’ll get them in the holiday spirit.

  • Wishing you Happy Holidays, wishing you all that’s merry and bright! Merry Christmas with love, Nat and Millie, from Kevin and Bella!
  • Merry Christmas! Merry day after day after day!
  • May your days be merry and bright, Steve! And warm. Merry Christmas!
  • All is calm. Everything is bright. Wishing you every Christmas delight! With love from Conner, Tasha, and Oscar.
  • Christmas wishes… wishes for joy and hope and lasting peace for you, Max. Merry Christmas!
  • Celebrate! Gather with gifts! Make memories galore! Happy Holidays, Matt and Sasha!
  • O Christmas Tree, we’re sending thee to tell one and all. Merry Christmas! Love, The McKenny Family 
  • It’s all fun and games until Santa checks the naughty list. Let’s hope he wasn’t paying close attention to us this year! Thanks for being such a great friend, it’s been fun spending time with you this year!
  • I’ve finally found the true meaning of Xmas, it’s for those people who can’t spell Christmas!
  • How do cats greet each other at Christmas? A furry Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
  • May your Christmas be like Santa – fat, cheerful, and abundant!
  • I only got you a card in case you got me one.
  • I hope your smiles will be as big as your credit card bill this Christmas! I wish you good luck and a lot of fun. Happy Christmas!


Hopefully, this has given you some ideas for funny Christmas wishes, and you’ve had a good laugh as a result.

We hope you’re all set now, whether you’re looking for something to write in a Christmas card, a gift tag, a text, or just bring up in conversation.

And now that you’ve decided what to say to your friends and family, you might be wondering what to get them.

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